When starting any of these, I love the idea of having an opening sequence that catches your attention. While that may seem compelling, the best approach I have today is simple: sit down with me for the next five minutes while I explain how I made choices that led me to earn less money, work longer hours, and have less equity—and why, in the long run, I believe it was the right decision for my career and my life.

Let’s set the scene: four founders were out in my backyard with a whiteboard, a hammock, 2 hanging chairs and a warm sun above. Writing down exit strategies, calculating if we made this much per month and had a blankety blank EBITDA, then that would result in this total payout. He’d make X, I’d make Y, you get the point. This went on for a few hours to determine if this was worth our time and efforts. During this time I look over to the right and I see one of our cofounders looking down with a red face, I knew he was upset because he was the most minority share holder in the deal and I was sure he was feeling off about the details that were arising in these exit scenarios. He’d put a full effort in but only get a small portion back in his effort while others would simply put money into the pie without much effort and get much larger returns.

I turned to him and asked “whats wrong?”, he began to speak his heart and how he felt about the issues between his efforts and rewards. While he was voicing all his thoughts, I stayed quiet on fixes at that moment but simply internalized them for a later time, while one of the other members, after hearing his position and feelings, began reshaping the numbers to make sure his exit was as worth it as ours.

Days after we left this meeting I made the contract for the founders and placed us all at equal footing: 25% each. One member who was apart disagreed and said he wanted more equity, I placed him at the highest equity, another in the middle and myself and the gentleman who had his head low that day equal in last, despite this venture being my idea, my efforts and leadership to make it succeed. I placed myself in the position to make the least, why? My only ability with any other member refusing equal parts was to make myself less. I could have easily gotten more equity for my efforts and role, why didn’t I? I cared about him.

Will I regret this in 2 years when we exit and the others get sent millions more than me? If we weighed the pain of losing money on a scale with the pain of turning my back on a friend, you’d see the friend side drop to the floor. Remember I didn’t flirt with the idea of ruin for my family or future, this isn’t the choice between poor or rich, it’s balancing the payout and the people, knowing any win that comes at the cost of those around me was never a win in the first place.

Business is group of people working towards a goal, which may be big or small, and if you’re a leader, your ability to effect influence is directly correlated to the way you carry yourself. I’ve seen many times leaders fight for their share instead of fighting for the shares of those around them and do you wanna know the truth? No person with a shred of intelligence will TRULY trust their future in the lives of a man or woman who thinks only of themselves. Maybe you’re thinking, “this isn’t some love story where you conquer the dragon, this is business, it’s for profit”. Yah, that is the case, but I’ll tell you after years of these kind of decisions what Im rich in: friendships, respect, influence and most of all, trust, the kind of trust that translates to others placing their lives in your hands, why?

Because when you show up and make decisions for those around you, they’ll send you into battle with their hopes, dreams and futures because you’re not a representation of your own selfish efforts but of their hopes and dreams.